SANTA’S PISSED
by an anoymous author

It was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have good mind to scrap the whole works.

I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year.
Instead of „Thanks Santa“ - what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better.
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter.

They say I owe taxes - if that ain’t damn funny.
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days - they are all the pits
They want the impossible...Those mean little shits.

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo’s - No request for them
They want computers and robots... they think I’m IBM!

If you think that’s bad...just picture this
Try holding those brats...with their pants full of piss
They pull on my nose - they grab at my beard
And if I don’t smile...parents think I’m weird.

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I’m quitting this job...there’s just no employment.
I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There’s no Christmas this year...now you know the reason.
I found me a blonde...I’m going SOUTH for the season!!


 This poem was sent to me from my dear friend Jeanne.  Thank you, Jeanne!


back/zurück